By: Lynne Cole | Last Updated: May 2026
Making the decision to start therapy is the first, biggest, and often hardest step.
Starting therapy can feel like a big step, no matter which mode of therapy you choose. It’s very common to feel a mix of curiosity, hope, and nerves before your first session. Most people I meet tell me they’ve been thinking about it for a while, and even once it’s booked, there’s still that question in the back of their mind: what will it actually be like?
In this guide, I’ll gently walk you through what to expect, so you can arrive feeling a little more at ease and a bit more prepared. I’ve been working as a therapist for many years, and supporting people through their first session is something I take particular care with.
Before Your First Session
Once you’ve booked, there usually isn’t a long wait as there can be with NHS services, although I may not always have immediate availability. If there is a short wait, I’ll let you know in advance so you can plan.
Before we meet, I may send you a brief intake form, which helps me understand a little about you and what’s brought you to therapy. It doesn’t need to be detailed or perfect, just whatever feels comfortable to share at this stage.
It can help to have an idea of what you’d like to talk about, but please don’t worry if your thoughts feel muddled or hard to put into words. That’s very normal, and part of my role is to help you make sense of things at your own pace.
You might also want to think about whether you’d prefer to meet in person or online. Both can be equally effective, so it’s really about what feels most comfortable and practical for you.
What Happens When You Arrive
If you’re coming in person, you’ll usually have a short wait before I come to greet you and invite you through. If your session is online, it’s a good idea to log in a few minutes early and make sure you’re somewhere quiet and private where you won’t be interrupted.
The first few minutes are simply about settling in. There’s no expectation to start sharing anything straight away. We’ll take a moment to get comfortable, and if there’s any paperwork or consent to go through, we’ll cover that together at the beginning.
What Will We Talk About in Your First Session?
The first session is really a conversation. It’s not a test, and it’s certainly not an interrogation. My aim is to understand what’s been going on for you, and to begin building a sense of trust so you feel safe to talk openly.
What your therapist may ask
I’ll gently guide the conversation with some questions, such as:
- What’s brought you to therapy at this point in your life
- What’s been happening recently, and why now feels like the right time
- A little about your background and current circumstances
- Whether you’ve had therapy before, and what that experience was like
- How you’ve been feeling day to day
- Any worries or questions you might have about the process
You’re always free to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
What you can ask your therapist
This is your space too, and it’s okay to ask questions. You might want to know:
- How long sessions last and how often we might meet
- What confidentiality means in practice
- Whether I’ve worked with people facing similar challenges
- Anything in the paperwork that isn’t clear
- How the therapy process might look for you
There are no silly questions; if it matters to you, it’s worth asking.
How long does a first therapy session last?
A first session typically lasts around an hour. Ongoing sessions are usually the same length, and we’ll agree together how often to meet based on what feels right for you.
What Types of Therapy Might Be Discussed?
One of the purposes of the first session is to get a sense of which approach might suit you best. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all method, as different people respond to different ways of working.
Depending on your needs, we might talk about:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): a practical, structured approach that looks at how thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing): often used to help process trauma and difficult past experiences
- Hypnotherapy: a gentle, focused approach that works with the subconscious mind
- Counselling: a space to explore your thoughts and feelings more openly, at your own pace
- Life coaching: more future-focused support, helping you set goals and move forward
I work with both adults, children and young people, including teenagers, and we’ll always tailor the approach to what feels most helpful for you.
Is It Normal to Feel Emotional During a First Therapy Session?
Yes, it is completely normal to get emotional during your therapy sessions.
For some people, it’s the first time they’ve spoken openly about what they’re going through. It’s natural for emotions to surface, and they’re always welcome in the room. You don’t need to hold anything back or try to “keep it together.”
That said, not everyone becomes emotional in their first session. Some people feel quite calm or stable. Both experiences are entirely valid.
It’s also worth remembering that the first session isn’t about solving everything. It’s about beginning to understand what’s going on and starting to build a trusting relationship.
Afterwards, some people feel a sense of relief or lightness, whereas others may feel a little tired or emotionally drained. Both are very normal responses, so don’t think there is a set way to feel. Feel free to laugh or cry, there will be no judgement at your therapy sessions.
What Happens After Your First Therapy Session?
It’s quite common to feel a bit tired after your first session, especially if you’ve covered a lot emotionally. You might find it helpful to take things gently for the rest of the day.
Some people like to jot down any thoughts or feelings that come up afterwards. This can be useful to bring into future sessions, but there’s no pressure to do so.
Depending on the type of therapy, I may occasionally suggest small, manageable exercises or reflections between sessions. These are always optional and designed to support you, not overwhelm you.
Before the session ends, we’ll usually talk about next steps, such as whether you’d like to continue, how often to meet, and what we might focus on going forward.
It’s also important to say this: if after one or two sessions something doesn’t feel quite right, it’s okay to say so. The relationship between you and your therapist matters, and you should feel comfortable.
I offer a no-pressure first session, so you can get a sense of whether it feels like a good fit for you.
Taking that first step into therapy isn’t always easy, but you don’t have to have everything figured out before you begin. You just need to arrive as you are, and we’ll take it from there, together.