Written By: Lynne Cole – Certified Therapist | Published: 16th February 2024 | Last Updated: February 2024
As children and teens grow, they develop their own ways of processing and showing their emotions; anger is a common emotion that most of us express in stressful situations, and it is perfectly healthy for teenagers to communicate these angry feelings.
It’s only when teenagers continuously lash out, struggle to manage their anger, or become violent, that anger becomes a problem. It’s important to address and manage anger in teens before it escalates, which may seem daunting as a parent, guardian or teacher.
With the right conversations and tools, such as teen counselling and therapy, you can encourage teenagers to develop crucial anger management techniques that can help them understand their emotions and better process them.
Here’s my guide on how to help teens deal with anger effectively.
Common Causes of Teenage Anger
Each teenager is unique, and there is no quick fix for teens with anger issues. However, there are various common causes of anger in teens that can be identified and addressed:
Hormonal Changes and Emotional Development
“Hormonal teenager” is a phrase we’ve all heard before, when young people hit puberty and go through hormonal changes that can evoke feelings of anger. Some teenagers deal with these changes better than others, so if you notice that your child or pupil is shouting or swearing more often, becoming violent or breaking things, it could be more than typical teenage hormone changes.
Social and peer pressure
Another key cause of anger in teens can be societal pressure from school or social media. Bullying, both cyber and in-person, is a common occurrence amongst young people and can have a detrimental affect on a teenager’s wellbeing. Social media can also lead to self esteem issues and feelings of inadequacy in teens, which can increase their frustration and anger.
To help a teenager better manage their anger, try and start a conversation and present a safe space to help them deal with their anger management.
School stress and performance anxiety
For a lot of teenagers, there’s a heightened sense of stress and frustration around exam time. Teenagers can feel an overwhelming pressure to succeed academically, and have a fear of failing and disappointing their parents or teachers, which can lead to irrational behaviour and outbursts.
Family conflicts and relationships
If there are any issues developing at home, such as divorce or grief, teenagers can struggle to process their emotions and become angry. Some teens may also be venturing into romantic relationships, which can be difficult to navigate and easily lead to feelings of frustration and incompetence.
Signs and Symptoms of Anger in Teens
There are various different ways in which anger presents itself in teenagers. These signs include:
- Losing control, often over issues that seems small
- Shouting and/or swearing
- Attempting to make others angry on purpose
- Throwing or breaking things
- Purposely causing physical or emotional harm to others
You may also notice that teens dealing with anger often tend to isolate themselves from others by staying in their room, appearing reluctant to talk and rarely venturing out with friends.
Anger issues in teens may result in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol consumption, drug taking, self harming or refusal to eat. If you notice any of these signs, it may be worth consulting a professional for their opinion.
These signs may also point towards depression in teenagers, which can be hard to navigate as a parent or teacher. If you believe your child is angry or depressed, consider child and teenage counselling to help them understand more about how they’re feeling.
If you’re unsure as to whether your child is depressed, my article “Think Your Teen Is Depressed? A Therapist’s Guide” may help.
Strategies for Helping Teens Deal with Anger
Anger issues in teens will not be resolved on their own, and without the support of those around them, some teenagers may find that their symptoms get worse, as do their behaviours and attitude. Therefore, it is essential to nurture positive avenues of communication that suit your teen individually. Some teenagers respond well to casual conversations one on one, with personal space and a calm atmosphere provided. Ensure you provided an empathetic ear at all times, and don’t force these conversations if your teen doesn’t seem cooperative.
Implementing effective anger management and coping mechanisms can help teenagers get into a routine when dealing with their anger, which can enable them to identify their triggers and take their own steps to managing them. Try encouraging them to take up exercise or a relaxing hobby, allowing them to vent their frustrations in less damaging ways.
Mindfulness has long been a recommended technique to help people focus on the present and be aware of their surroundings; mindfulness can help encourage anger management in teens, decreasing anxiety in the process. Mindfulness can be practiced for just ten minutes each day to help teenagers recollect their thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes, encouraging teenagers dealing with anger to help themselves isn’t an easy task. You may not also know whether your child needs therapy at all.
Many teenagers refuse to talk to people they know about how they’re feeling, especially their parents, and won’t accept help. Therefore, it could be beneficial to have a neutral, non-biased party such as a teen therapist communicate with your teen and help them develop more helpful ways of managing their anger.
Practical Tips for Parents Who Are Helping Teens Deal with Anger
Helping teens deal with anger may not be an overnight task, but whether they are accepting help or not, there are ways in which you can encourage your child to be more open about how they are feeling and develop healthier ways to process their anger.
It’s important to create a supportive environment at home and at school, and always remind your child that it is okay to feel angry. Always keep that line of communication open, even if they don’t accept it. It may also be worth mentioning your teen’s anger issue to their school to allow them to develop their own ways to encourage healthy coping mechanisms.
Although it’s vital to allow your teenager to feel anger, you should also set firm boundaries and offer punishment if those boundaries are crossed. Always try and follow through with punishments, such as taking their phone away or grounding them, and ensure you are consistent so that your child knows what to expect when they cross a line.
As previously mentioned, healthier outlets such as exercise or hobbies such as arts and crafts can have a great impact on your child’s mental health and wellbeing. When you notice the common signs of anger, try and encourage them to take up their hobby to help calm them and create a healthier mindset.
Taking your child to teen counselling or therapy can not only provide them with an empathetic ear, but you can be assured they are receiving the best tips and anger management techniques which they can carry with them through life. Therapy can also help your child recognise their triggers, and find better ways to express their anger.
Key Takeaways
Dealing with anger in teens, as a parent, teacher or guardian can be a difficult task to undertake, especially when you don’t have the information, tools and resources.
Implementing effective coping mechanisms and strategies is essential, but not always easy. However, it’s important to remember that feeling angry is natural for teens when navigating teenage life. Providing them with a supportive environment and allowing them to express their anger constructively is the best thing parents can do.
It’s also important to recognise that as a parent, there is only so much that you yourself are able to; ensuring that you are kind to yourself and not being afraid to ask for help can give you the support you need, which ultimately will help you support your teen.