Ups and downs in mood are normal, especially for children; young children and teenagers in particular feel emotions very strongly, due to novelty of experiences or hormonal fluctuations. However, children certainly can show signs of mental illness and trauma (according to some studies, as many as one child in six may have a mental illness), and sometimes it’s a good idea to take your child to a therapist in case the condition is serious
Written By: Lynne Cole | Last Updated: October 2022
Here are a few warning signs to watch out for.
Signs That Your Child May Need Therapy
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- A traumatic event you know about has happened; for example, the child has been involved in an accident or has been severely bullied.
- Struggling or having problems in multiple areas – family, friends, school, etc. This is quite common; childhood is a time of massive changes. If it gets overwhelming, though, it can lead to stress-caused mental illnesses. It’s best to catch it early.
- Mood changes, such as crying more, lashing out in anger, or not expressing happiness as often.
-Changes in eating or sleeping patterns. Both increases and decreases in eating and sleeping can be signs of a problem. Teenagers in a growth spurt will naturally eat and sleep more than before, but if it gets out of hand contact a doctor. - Withdrawing from social interactions and/or pastimes they used to enjoy, or expressing a lack of enjoyment in general
- Demonstrating low self-esteem; talking negatively about their appearance, abilities, or personality, ceasing to put in effort with school or hobbies, not taking care of themselves or grooming properly.
- Talking about or making plans to run away from home.
- Self-destructive behaviour. This can include cutting, burning, hair-plucking, skin-picking, etc (not necessarily leaving marks), being careless in dangerous situations, getting into fights, refusing to eat or sleep, or taking up substance abuse (alcohol, cigarettes, solvent inhalation, illegal substances).
- Emotional self-harm is also possible, such as setting oneself unrealistic goals and being harsh on oneself for not reaching them, or seeking depressing, frightening, degrading, or offensive articles, fiction, or comments that one knows will be upsetting – this is particularly a risk on social media. If you see no marks but your child discusses self-harm, it’s still worth investigating.
- Expression of suicidal thoughts. Suicide in preteen children is rare but not unknown, so don’t assume they can’t possibly go through with it; get help as soon as possible. Suicidal thoughts may be explicit, or take the form of abstract talk about death or comments such as “I wish I wasn’t here” or “no one would miss me”, or giving away belongings they feel they won’t need anymore. Sudden cheerfulness after a period of depression is also a concern, as survivors of suicide attempts often report feeling much happier after having made the decision to do it.
Benefits of Therapy for Children
Children can benefit as much as adults from a listening ear, though specific treatment methods may have to be tailored to them. Seek out a therapist specifically trained to work with children for the best results.
Young children may not be able to state outright what’s bothering them, but a trained therapist can ask the right questions to both child and parents and take cues from the child to expose the root of the problem. Good therapy early on can nip problems in the bud and prevent them from recurring, and the child is likely to show marked improvements in mood and behaviour. They may also be able to help with underlying issues such as autism, ADHD, etc.
How to Find a Therapist for Your Child
Search for child psychiatrists, therapists, and counsellors in your local area, or ask your doctor for a referral. Be thorough in checking the therapist’s reputation and credentials; you need someone both trustworthy and skilled. If anyone you know has had a child in therapy they may make a recommendation, or your child’s school may have useful contacts.
What Will My Child Talk About In Therapy?
Therapy is a neutral safe place for a child to discuss issues in their home, school, or personal life. Depending on the reason for the therapy, they may discuss their family; this is a good thing, as the therapist will be able to help solve issues and bring you and your child closer than before. The child can tell the therapist things they would be embarrassed or afraid to tell an adult who knows them.
Confidentiality may not be legally enforced in the parent-child relationship in some areas, but is important to maintaining trust between therapist and patient, so the therapist will probably not tell you what goes on in the sessions unless the child asks them to or the child or someone else is in danger (for example, if they are actively planning suicide, have been abused, or are planning to harm someone else). The therapist will, however, be able to provide or recommend support for you; having an ill or troubled child is stressful and it will benefit both you and your child for you to have help too.
The therapist will also have to inform you if medication or inpatient treatment is required. In the majority of cases, this will not be necessary, though.
How Do I Know When My Child Doesn’t Need Therapy?
While children certainly can require therapy, not every low mood is a sign of mental illness or trauma, especially in teenagers. Mood swings during puberty are normal. Behavioural problems and bad moods can often be worked out simply by talking to the child and finding a solution at home. However, in cases where this has been tried and hasn’t worked, therapy can be vital.